Not liking myself here lately

This has been an ongoing issue with me and had really come to a head in the past month. I have to get a handle on it sooner than later. Everything has been suffering because of it.

I CAN’T STOP EATING!!!!

I have been eating everything and anything that comes in my way. My weight is slowly going up and my exercise is slowly going down. I just don’t have the energy to get out, but once I make my self get out there and move, I do feel so much better.

I have fallen back into old habits of eating to calm my nerves, to deal with the stress that I have put myself under. I know that I am doing this and I just can’t make myself stop.

There are times when I wish I would have had the gastric bypass instead of the sleeve. Then if I over ate or had something that I should not have (candy) I would have a dump issue or get sick. Right now I can eat anything with the sleeve and not get sick.  I know that this sounds bad, but I really need that safe guard to make sure that I don’t do something stupid. Like I have been doing the past few months.

I am up to my no go zone in weight and because of that stress, I continue to eat and gain more weight.

School has been stressful and working with my son has too. He just turn 12 and his hormones are all over the place on top of his Autism. It has not been much fun at our house.

I need a week off from everything and everyone, except for one special person. I want to go away and detox from the candy and sweets. Be somewhere where I can’t run to the store to get a bag of peanut M&Ms when I am stressed. (Which I did this afternoon).

I should not be allowed to go shopping unsupervised.

If I don’t get it nipped in the butt, I will regain and lose all of the hard work that I have done in the past 2.5 years.

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