It has been a crazy month

I have been non-stop since my last post.  It feels like it has been over a month since I wrote, but in truth it has only been a few weeks.

I celebrated my 48th birthday on the 3rd, then had to write my final paper for my Nursing Research class that was due on the 13th (got it done before then and turned in), now trying to get things ready for Christmas.

Joshua and I are heading down to Florida to spend Christmas with my Dad and brother. This will be the first time back to Florida since we moved to Illinois in 2014. I have worked by butt off getting my PTO time saved up to be able to take 6 days off.

Now on to training and eating.   I HAVE BEEN BAD!!!!!!

My training has taken a huge back seat to life and so has my eating.  My weight had gotten back up to 165 and I just felt like crap. First of all, I have been so upset with myself that I allow myself to slip back into old unhealthy eating habits when I get stressed. Will have to work on finding better ways when school starts back up in January.

I have gone back to just drinking my protein drinks and water. I have slipped up twice and had my mortal enemy of peanut M&Ms. I just have to refocus and remember why I did this in the first place.

I have been trying to find a support group that isn’t over an hour away.  I will keep looking.

Back to the training…. Joshua has swimming lessons every Thursday night and there just happens to be a Masters Swim Class at the same time. So, we both get to swim on Thursday nights. Plus he does so much better when I am not watching. I am so proud of him and how far he has come in his swimming.

Now on to bigger news…….

 

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http://triequal.org/

They have opened up applications for their “Equally Inspiring Athlete” for women to be coached for three months for free. They continue to want to increase the number of women in the sport. I was very lucky in 2015 that I applied and was accepted. Sadly it didn’t last long as I got injured and couldn’t continue. This was right before my weight loss surgery.  So, I was encouraged to apply again and I did.

 

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If you have seen my motivation please return it!

 

I have somehow lost my motivation to get moving. I ran a 5K on Thanksgiving morning with no training and did not do too bad if I may say so myself. I finished the race in 37:15 for an average of a 12:01 minute mile. I was 22 out of 44 females in my age group of 45-49. My Friend Erica won the age group at 23:51 an average of a 7:42 minute mile.  Erica is so fast and I will never be that fast and I am ok with it. She has been running much longer than I have.

2017-11-22 17.04.06

It’s a great tech long sleeve shirt. I will have to keep this race on the books for next year.

Need to start planning for next year and what races that I want to do and what my goals are. I have some wonderful friends that are going to help me out in this area. But first I have to finish school. I have one last paper to write before school is done for the year and then I only have 2 more classes and I will have my BSN!! It has been a struggle and many of tears have been flowing due to all of this, I just have to keep the end goal in sight. The same goes with my training and my dream of an Ironman finish.

Sunday, I turn 48 year old. So by USA Triathlon rules my age group has been 45-49 all season. But next year 2018 I have a racing age of 49 since my birthday is in December. I want to complete and do my first Ironman for my 50th birthday, which will be in 2019. May even make it a destination race, but will look at something more local and where I have friends that I can stay with or camp out with.

I am getting a coach and going to try to be more active with my local Tri group that I belong to.  I love the group, but they are very intimidating to newcomers like myself but that is something that I need to overcome as they have been so supportive of me and my goals.

Blessing is going to get an upgrade in January to make things a little bit easier on me and hope that it will help to get me more comfortable in the saddle. But mostly getting into the aero position.

Until next time!!

 

Not liking myself here lately

This has been an ongoing issue with me and had really come to a head in the past month. I have to get a handle on it sooner than later. Everything has been suffering because of it.

I CAN’T STOP EATING!!!!

I have been eating everything and anything that comes in my way. My weight is slowly going up and my exercise is slowly going down. I just don’t have the energy to get out, but once I make my self get out there and move, I do feel so much better.

I have fallen back into old habits of eating to calm my nerves, to deal with the stress that I have put myself under. I know that I am doing this and I just can’t make myself stop.

There are times when I wish I would have had the gastric bypass instead of the sleeve. Then if I over ate or had something that I should not have (candy) I would have a dump issue or get sick. Right now I can eat anything with the sleeve and not get sick.  I know that this sounds bad, but I really need that safe guard to make sure that I don’t do something stupid. Like I have been doing the past few months.

I am up to my no go zone in weight and because of that stress, I continue to eat and gain more weight.

School has been stressful and working with my son has too. He just turn 12 and his hormones are all over the place on top of his Autism. It has not been much fun at our house.

I need a week off from everything and everyone, except for one special person. I want to go away and detox from the candy and sweets. Be somewhere where I can’t run to the store to get a bag of peanut M&Ms when I am stressed. (Which I did this afternoon).

I should not be allowed to go shopping unsupervised.

If I don’t get it nipped in the butt, I will regain and lose all of the hard work that I have done in the past 2.5 years.